Give a Soft Answer

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

(Proverbs 15:1)

Meditation

The human tongue can do the greatest good, or the greatest harm. It can be used to build someone up, or tear them to shreds. If someone comes to us with harsh words, we can neutralize the situation with a soft response. Conversely, we can pour fuel on the fire by returning a harsh word for one given. When I’m hurt and angry, I want to retaliate, instantly. I’m likely to say something hurtful that I don’t really mean. Since I've been saved I've managed to keep my old potty mouth in check, but that doesn’t mean I don’t say something mean spirited. I know I struggle with this constantly. I try to wait a few seconds after receiving a biting remark, so I don’t sound like an uncivilized brute, though, I must confess, I’m rarely successful.

My problem is, when my anger flashes, and that selfish need for retaliation comes, I don’t take the time to think what God considers an appropriate response. I always feel like a jerk after I’ve blurted out something equally as cruel as what I received. I spend the next couple of days beating myself up because I failed again to act like a real follower of Jesus. When I do manage to hold my tongue for a moment, while I’m considering my reply, I ask God to help me. I hand my wrath over to him and ask for composure in return. God has always been faithful when I’ve taken that moment to ask him for help. He takes my rage from me and gives me control over my response. My problem is, I don’t give God a chance to temper my anger nearly enough.

If holding my tongue and not reacting in anger is all that’s needed to win someone over as a friend, rather than making an enemy, that’s what I want to do. I’m certainly not going to influence anyone to accept Christ who thinks I’m the world’s biggest jerk. I have no idea what’s going on in the other person’s life that is causing their harsh words or actions. They may be reacting from great pain or suffering. If I treat them graciously, I just might make their day and maybe a friend for life. I know when I have said something harsh and totally unwarranted, I don’t like it much when they return my nasty remark with one of their own. There is never a time when I can say to myself that I don’t have to worry about hurting someone’s feelings. I’m always on duty for the Lord, and so are we all. If I aspire to be anything like Jesus, I have to put a lock on my tongue.

Prayer Time

Heavenly Father you alone are holy and worthy of our worship. You have every right to punish us harshly for how we ignore you and treat each other. The way we cut each other to pieces with our biting words, we show we are far from who you want us to be. Even brothers and sisters in Christ will say hateful things to each other. Father forgive us when we act that way. Teach us the better way to act; help us to always try to be like Jesus. Help us to willingly give up the need to get back at anyone who hurts us. When we come under the scorn of someone, show us how to take the high road. Help us to use those situations to make a new friend instead of an enemy, and possibly a new believer in Christ as well. Teach us to realize an antagonist may be in great anguish, causing them to act harshly towards us. Help us to treat them with compassion, instead of anger, to make them feel better. Don’t let us react severely, and thus, only create a new adversary. Remind us our most important mission is to make disciples. That will not happen with enemies. We want to make friends and disciples. In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen!