Play Nice With Everyone

A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.

(Proverbs 16:28)

There are two kinds of people that no church wants as members. The first are the people who can’t seem to get through the day without causing someone grief. It’s almost like they think it’s their job to hurt someone’s feelings. Of course, their sin nature could be overcome with the Holy Spirit's help. The trouble is, they’ve probably never received the baptism of the Holy Spirit. They think it’s their responsibility to be the thorn in someone else’s side. Their only contribution to the life of a church is to find fault with everything that goes on. They never encourage or build anyone up, they can only tear people down.

The other undesirables are the gossips. Their whispers are usually as damaging to their victims as a carving knife. It does not ever matter if their murmurings are true or not, gossip is still wrong. By wrong, I mean sinful. The gossiper thinks they’re building themselves up while they're tearing someone else down. Some will try to disguise their wrongdoing by telling others to be praying for the target of the gossip. Then, of course, they have to explain why. It's in the telling why, that the gossip happens.

However, even listening to the gossip should make us feel terrible about ourselves. If all we ever do is listen to what the gossiper has to say, we're no better than they are. We should shut them down as soon as they begin to speak in an unflattering way about someone. Make them understand how sinful it is to gossip. Make sure they understand that even though they cannot gossip about someone to you, they cannot turn to someone else to gossip with either. Remember, if they gossip to you about someone else, they will gossip to someone else about you too.

If you are constantly criticizing others, if people seem to walk around you on eggshells, or if you are being ostracized by people in the church, seek forgiveness and ask the Holy Spirit to help you. Instead of spreading gossip, be the one who inspires others and exhorts them to greater and greater service to the Lord. There's enough heartbreak and sorrow in our everyday lives, we don't want it in the church. Be willing to lovingly confront anyone who brings discontentment among the brothers and sisters in Christ. Be an example of Christ and help others to do the same.

Father God you are the author of everything good. We thank you for and revel in your peace. However, there are those in our midst, who find a perverse pleasure in causing fights between our friends. Give us the courage and spiritual discernment to confront these trouble makers. If they do not change their ways, we must be willing to expel them, even if they’re friends of ours. Their presence is poisonous to a healthy church. A much bigger problem in our churches, Lord, are the gossips. We are plagued by this sinful behavior. Forgive us when we get caught up in this conduct that can be deeply damaging to our brothers and sisters. Keep us from even listening and give us the courage to challenge the gossiper. Help them understand they are committing a sin. We should even let them get away with trying to disguise their gossiping by calling it a prayer request. Give us a spirit for only helping and building each other up, never trying to hurt or talk badly about anyone. In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen!